Blog drama

I generally like to avoid “drama” online.  I don’t post on any message boards anymore, because I got tired of people who just wanted to be contrary.  I enjoy reading controversial blogs like Molly Saves the Day because Molly can argue the pants off anyone, and there’s always a good, spirited debate going on.  However, I don’t participate… even when someone left a comment disparaging Canada and making it sound like a third-world country, I left it alone.  Given my pacifist attitude, I’m here to announce that I ironically, and inadvertently, ended up causing a big brouhaha on one of my favourite blogs, and I think I’ve essentially been “disinvited” from posting there in the future.  I’d be quite hurt about the whole thing if it wasn’t so bizarre that I can only think the blog owner is on the verge of a nervous breakdown, and needed to take it out on someone.

Without posting specific urls, I’ll just say that the blog I was reading and commenting on was by a woman passionate about saving animals in shelters.  She rescues, she fosters, and does a great job of saving hundreds of animals.  She talks about all the stupid reasons people surrender their pets to “the pound”, and about owner-neglect, and really hits the nail on the head when it comes to pointing out that people lack personal responsibility.  However, she recently made a comment about dog/cat breeders, and how they’re irresponsible and how they cause the shelters to fill up with pets.  I made a comment about “responsible breeders”, the ones who breed one or two litters per year, the ones who take back animals they’ve sold if the owner can’t keep them, the ones who require spay/neuter contracts from buyers, the ones who microchip, the ones who rescue the breed they specialize in, and the ones who do genetic testing on parents to ensure they aren’t perpetuating hereditary, often fatal, conditions.  Sounds reasonable, right?  Well, the blog owner ripped into me immediately, implying that there aren’t any breeders who fit that description, and suggesting that genetic testing was the equivalent of lab vivisection and was done to cull puppy litters of “undesireables”.  I explained (as did one other person), that genetic testing is done on dams and sires, but apparently no one was listening.  One other person left many comments again equating the desire for purebred dogs to the white supremacist movement.  When I suggested the purebred dogs have value in historical and sociological context, I was brushed off, and was more or less told that ancient breeds like Pharoah hounds are no different than invented breeds like “labradoodles”.

I was shocked by the ignorance, and the unwillingness to learn anything new.  I’m not advocating that people go to breeders and buy purebred dogs, and I’d definitely love to see puppy mills and “puppy stores” go out of business.  I hope that if a person wants a dog, they’ll try to find one at their local shelter or rescue group.  Hell, I’m the person who’s been discussing with Flippy for the last year the idea of starting a non-profit group which rents retail space in strip malls and then donates the space to local rescue groups to display their animals—sort of like “a puppy store”, but with shelter dogs.  But you know, if a person grew up with a Basenji, and wanted a Basenji their whole adult life, and Basenji rescue doesn’t have any dogs available in their area of the country, then I don’t have a problem if that person wants to find a good, responsible breeder who breeds Basenjis.  Animal shelters are not overcrowded because someone’s hobby is breeding one litter a year of show-quality dogs.  Animal shelters are overcrowded because people don’t spay and neuter their dogs and cats and end up with unwanted litters, and they’re overcrowded because people who buy animals treat them as disposable.  If we could spay and neuter every dog and cat that didn’t belong to someone with a breeder’s license, eliminate puppy mills who turn out dogs with behavioural and health problems, and force people to keep the animals they buy/adopt for the entire lifetime of the animal, animal shelters would be EMPTY.

When all is said and done, I’m mostly irritated about the situation because I was treated like I was a horrible, stupid person.  I was described as someone who ”purports to love animals”, simply because I felt there was a place for some breeders in the grand scheme of things, and because two times I bought dogs from breeders.  Yes, in my household of seven rescued cats, two rescued dogs (with major health problems), and four rescued parrots, I merely “purport” to love animals.

I wish I could be as perfect as the blog owner who now keeps threatening to delete anything I write if I say anything positive about breeders or purebred animals.  Yes, it’s her right to edit her blog as she pleases, but she shouldn’t invite dialogue and then censor reasonable comments which are contrary to her opinions.  None of us would ever learn anything new if we didn’t listen to new ideas.  The blog owner often complains about how horrible the people are who come to see about adopting an animal from her but who are “shopping around”, but now I wonder if she causes a lot of her own problems by being rigid and uninformed.  I’d rather have a person “shop around” and adopt an animal they really bond with, than to have a person take the first cat or dog they see, and later surrender it because it’s not a good match for them.  I’d also like to make a crack about how the perfectionist is a smoker, but I’ll refrain blank stare

As if all that wasn’t bad enough, later in the day I made a short comment which I thought would be helpful on someone else’s blog, and then got laughed at by one person, and told “I didn’t have a clue” by another, all because I’m not “obese”.  As I’ve only known what it’s like to need to lose 40 pounds, I’m apparently not allowed to have any dieting suggestions.  I was also told that there’s no such thing as “needing to lose 20 pounds”, and that it’s a myth invented by society.  If I’m 5 feet tall, weigh 180 pounds, and I think I need to lose 20 pounds so I can fit back into my size 18 jeans, just take my word for it.  “Needing to lose 20 pounds” doesn’t mean that I’m trying to be a pencil, it just means that my current weight is putting stress on my body and that I think 20 pounds or more needs to come off for health reasons.  When did everyone on the Internet get so damned snotty?

Long story short, I used to think that blogging was a nice, safe, comfy thing to do, and I haven’t enjoyed my little reality check.  I’ll continue to post here, but with the exception of a few “safe” blogs run by people who I know are friendly, I’ll just be keeping my mouth shut.  It’s not very relaxing to spend the day having people call you stupid.

Posted by Leigh-Ann on 03/22 at 11:41 AM

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  1. Wow, it always amazes me when people think their way of doing things is the only way - for everyone.  You are right - these people are very short sighted.  Actions speak louder than words: your household is a testament to your love for animals and your desire to help as many as possible.

    Posted by vetmommy  on  03/22  at  04:17 PM

  2. Thank you, VetMommy, for your comment and encouraging words.  I was very upset by the problem I had with the other blogger, because I really looked up to her and admired her.  It’s like that episode of the Brady Bunch when Bobby admired Jesse James, and then he found out that Jesse James wasn’t such a great guy and his illusions were shattered and… heh, just checking to see how old you are wink

    I know I can’t base my self-worth on the opinion of strangers, but when a person I thought I’d like to emulate tells me I’m responsible for the deaths of thousands of animals in shelters, it’s a hard thing to hear.  It was nice to receive your comment, and when we went to pick up some dog and cat food today, the woman at the store told us what great pet owners we are, and how obvious it is we love our pets.  That may have just been an attempt to get us to come back to spend another $91, but regardless, I needed to hear it.

    Posted by Leigh-Ann  on  03/22  at  08:28 PM

  3. Oh, pshaw, that stupid woman didn’t see you when you got all weepy when you might be giving up the STRAY kittens that you’d bottle-fed from their second day of life.  Or when you rescued the STRAY cat off the porch, when half his forehead was scraped off, he wasn’t neutered, his toes were bloody, and he had some sort of URI...and now he sleeps on your pillow.

    No one needs to emulate people so rigid that they can’t recognize common sense. 

    Oh, and that $91 was so worth it to see the little dogs (holy crap, rescues even) with their old food back.  Sure, they’re gonna poop up a storm, but they’re happy.

    Posted by FlippyO  on  03/22  at  08:46 PM

  4. Hey, stop telling my weepy secrets!

    Btw, from what I heard recently (in the form of you screeching from down the hall), the little dogs are already having a celebratory poop party.

    Posted by Leigh-Ann  on  03/22  at  08:51 PM

  5. That’s me, a big ol’ tattler.

    Oh, and only one celebratory poop (she’s underpad trained, people, long story), the other one is celebratory, but poopless.

    Posted by FlippyO  on  03/22  at  09:32 PM

  6. Hi Leigh-Ann. I followed a couple links and here I am. smile

    I am frustrated with that OTHER conversation also. She’s obviously not listening or not capable of a two-way discourse. Today she said no one had defined a responsible breeder, as compared to puppy mills, but I’m more than sure that we did that 3 or 4 times. I feel like I’m beating my head against a wall. I really admired her work and had recommended her journal to numerous people, but I think it’s time to just give up on the conversation.

    Posted by jg  on  03/23  at  04:29 AM

  7. JG, I’m so glad to see you here—I’d wanted to try to contact you to thank you for your nice comments on “the other” blog.  You’re correct when you say that there’s no point trying to continue discussing that topic, because it was never a “discussion”—the blog owner had made up her mind on the subject, as had her cheering section.  I want the opportunity to be educated on a variety of subjects, and do enjoy hearing both sides of an argument so I can made informed choices, but this discussion was in no way a true “debate”. 

    I have limited patience for an argument which goes around in circles and keeps changing topics.  Are we blaming breeders for preventing people from adopting dogs from shelters, or are we blaming breeders for producing so many dogs that the overflow ends up in shelters?  If the latter is the case, then why did the conversation suddenly turn into, “mixed breeds are better than purebreeds”, when it was just suggested that shelters are full of purebred dogs?  And no one bothered to answer my question about how shelters end up full of “shepherd mixes” and “pitbull mixes”—it certainly isn’t breeders who put those dogs there.

    I ironically found a entry on the blog owner’s main rescue website, entitled, “What are the main reasons companion cats and dogs die in our city?”.  The answers were:

    1: Failure of animal caregivers to spay and neuter their pets.
    2: “Moving” to apartments or homes that supposedly do not allow animals.
    3: Failure to have provisions for pets in times of emergency, illness or death of caregiver.
    4: “Allergies.”
    5: “Having a baby.”

    So, right there, the blog owner supports my assertion that lack of spaying and neutering is the main reason shelters are overpopulated—breeders aren’t even mentioned!

    It drives me nuts.  I don’t need to be “right”, but I want to know why I’m “wrong”.  Teach me something, don’t insult me.  A similar thing happened last week when vegetarianism was discussed, and the blog owner recommended people eat soy products.  I asked if she was concerned about reports that rainforests and other areas critical to the environment were being subjected to deforestation because of the world’s sudden craving for soy products, and she didn’t answer.

    I won’t go back to that blog, which is sad, because I enjoyed it and thought the blog owner was a friend.  I’ve exchanged many emails with her where she’s lauded me for being such a wonderful person, a great writer, etc., and I guess all that’s gone out the window.  I have enough stress to deal with besides having someone in animal rescue tell me that my actions make animals die.

    I blogrolled you… I look forward to reading the adventures of Snickers smile

    Posted by Leigh-Ann  on  03/23  at  02:06 PM

  8. Thanks! I’ll be back here also.

    Posted by jg  on  03/23  at  05:13 PM

  9. I guess, in many ways, blogging is just like real life.. you meet all kinds. grin.  As for the rescue person.. I know she is doing a wonderful job but it sounds to me like she has lost a bit of perspective.  I am sure she has seen a lot of animals who have been neglected and have suffered and I think it sounds like she is striving for an idealistic world.. which is not going to happen.  One thing I really did not understand was the concept of not acquiring a pure bred dog.  The nice thing about getting a pure breed dog from a reputable breeder is that you know a lot about the dog you are getting and how the dog will fit in to your life style, etc.  It would be wonderful if only shelter dogs were taken.. but the reality is .. there will always be shelter dogs.. just like there will always be poor people.  We can do what we can to help and strive to make the world a better place.. but to do so .. we must also stay real.

    And just one more note..  I too need to lose 20 pounds grin.

    Posted by Simply Coll  on  03/24  at  04:44 AM

  10. Staying real was a concept I tried to introduce on that blog actually. I tried to make the point that to make real change (like legal and cultural change) you have to start small and make compromises. I got virtually taken to task though for suggesting we compromise regarding animals lives. Sigh.

    So, rather than compromise, they will continue to bitch about the problem and nothing will get done. So frustrating. :(

    I guess I’m giving up completely over there. I actually started a post regarding all this on my blog yesterday but it got so long I couldn’t finish it. Stay tuned.

    Posted by jg  on  03/24  at  05:01 AM

  11. I hope you don’t mind me leaving a comment here...I found your blog via the Wildrun blogroll, and was drawn in by the photos of the kittens (my cat Salem looks just like Tie, down to the pointy face--my husband and I jokingly call him our black Siamese). So hi! smile

    Randomly, I happen to read that “other” blog as well. I didn’t know it was you leaving those comments, but now that I do--just wanted to let you know that I think you were making interesting, valid points. I was honestly astonished that the blog owner was so unwilling to consider another’s point of view. So, even though a comment from a stranger on the internet probably doesn’t mean much, after reading this entry I felt compelled, for some reason, to let you know that I understood what you were saying.

    If you don’t mind, I’d like to continue to pop in now and then--I really enjoy your blog!  -Helena

    Posted by Helena  on  03/24  at  08:46 AM

  12. Re: Coll’s comment, {The nice thing about getting a pure breed dog from a reputable breeder is that you know a lot about the dog you are getting and how the dog will fit in to your life style, etc.}

    The owner of the blog in question would definitely argue with you about that.  To quote directly from her website, “We are a culture obsessed with the “right” acquisitions the “right” appearances, the “right” pets and the “right” winnings or achievements. But, are we obsessed with the right things to do ?” She then goes on to say, “Likewise, the “right” dog or cat for us is not defined by breed, type, size, age or appearance, but rather what we as individuals are willing to put into that relationship in terms of time, effort, patience, learning, empathy and love.  It is doing the right thing, rather than acquiring the right thing that ultimately spells happiness or disappointment in life, whether we are talking animals, people or anything else.” She ends her argument with this sentence, “The “right” dog or cat is waiting for you at the nearest pound, on the nearest street corner or from the closest rescue group.  If you are a patient person capable of giving, learning and sharing then the “right” pet is the one “mo” falls on when doing “eenie, meenie, miney, mo.”

    Now to a point, I agree with her.  I absolutely adore my cat Frank, who was just a stray I found on my doorstep, but if I’d seen Frank in a shelter I might have passed by the bruised and battered old tomcat.  However, if I was a person who only had time/space/finances to care for one cat, I think it’s perfectly acceptable if I take time to find a cat who seems nice and friendly from the moment we meet.  Frank nearly sent me to the emergency room with bites until he settled into our house, and no average person should be required to put up with that if they aren’t prepared for it.  My last cat, Sweet Pea (who died in 2004), was a biter too—she would bite if you petted her for more than a few seconds, even though she was otherwise affectionate.  Is it reasonable to assume that the average person should have to adopt a cat which bites because someone guilts them into it?  Of course not.  If millions of cats are being euthanized in shelters every year, there’s no reason an adoptive family can’t take the time to look for a cat they feel they bond with immediately.  Other bonds form over time, but if you just shove any cat at an inexperienced owner and say, “Take the cat or it dies!”, you’re just asking to have that cat returned to the shelter with even more behavioural problems.  I definitely think a responsible pet owner *does* “shop around” for a good match before they adopt, and they don’t just take the first animal which comes along.

    So, you can see how this argument was applied to specific breeds of dogs.  The blog owner feels we’ve all been brainwashed about breed traits, and that any dog, purebred or mixed bred, can fit into our lives if we choose to allow it.  I think dogs and cats are wonderful, but should a 95 year old woman adopt an 85 pound shepherd-mix because she sees it homeless on the street corner?  Probably not.

    Posted by Leigh-Ann  on  03/24  at  03:34 PM

  13. Re: JG’s comment, {I tried to make the point that to make real change (like legal and cultural change) you have to start small and make compromises. I got virtually taken to task though for suggesting we compromise regarding animals lives.}

    You’re absolutely correct—change happens when people become educated and voluntarily make new choices for themselves.  Here in Vegas our shelter just opened their first “retail store”, where they adopt dogs and cats out of a storefront in a strip mall.  Now, instead of being drawn to the omnipresent “puppy stores” around town, people have the option of going to the “shelter store” instead.  It lets them see dogs and cats in a happier environment, and probably will encourage more people to adopt/rescue.  I know a lot of people are afraid of shelters because they’re full of sadness, and a storefront in a mall plays to the need of most people to avoid tense or stressful situations.  You might SHOCK more people if you made them go to the shelter and watch an euthanasia, but if the idea is to get the animals adopted, then I’m fine with playing some mind games and making adoption/rescue seem more cutesy and fun.

    I remember “unnamed blog owner” telling a story about a woman who wanted to adopt a kitten.  The blog owner kept trying to convince the woman to adopt an adult cat instead.  The blog owner’s theories were correct, that an adult cat would do better if it was going to be left alone all day, but the adopter really, really wanted a kitten.  Ultimately, the blog owner saw the woman who wanted to adopt coming out of a pet store, having just purchased a kitten.  By being unwilling to compromise, not only didn’t an adult cat find a home, but a kitten didn’t find a home either, and more money was fed into the “puppy/kitten mill” industry.  I think it’s a good example of why compromise is needed if the ultimate goal is to find homes for all the homeless animals… sometimes we have to forget about being right, and just be happy that a life was saved.

    Posted by Leigh-Ann  on  03/24  at  03:50 PM

  14. Hello, Helena!  Nice to meet another owner of a cat who looks like an alien smile We’re pretty sure our guy is a little person in a cat suit, but we haven’t been able to prove it. 

    Thanks so much for your supportive comments.  I really enjoy reading good discussions and learning new things, and am still disappointed that “the other blog” didn’t offer more give and take.  I hope you’ll stop by again… I’ll visit your blog as well, and hope to see some photos of your kitty.

    Posted by Leigh-Ann  on  03/24  at  03:56 PM

  15. I always forget that a lot of my blog posts aren’t “public"--anyway, I just posted a photo of Salem that you should be able to see, if you’re interested. It doesn’t do his pointy face justice, but you can kind of tell. Whenever I try to take a straight-on photo of him, he attacks the camera, so I’ve had no luck so far. smile -Helena

    Posted by Helena  on  03/25  at  05:12 PM
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