Saying goodbye to my best canine pal

This is a long story but for now, you just get the short version.  This evening we had Eli, our German Shepherd, put to sleep.  She was 13 years old, and we found out she was suffering from an aortic tumor and congestive heart failure.  Parts of her heart weren’t beating normally… if you know about a normal heart rhythm, and how it starts with a P wave, Eli’s heart was having multiple beats where it never got past PQ.  It wasn’t something we could fix with drugs, and she was destined to die in no more than a couple of weeks, and I didn’t want to prolong her suffering.  I always thought of her as my best friend, as the dog who understood my moods and who stuck by me when I was sad or upset.  I’d always hoped she would make it to her 14th birthday, but I’m glad I had as long as I did with her.  I’m also glad her suffering was minimal, and her death was peaceful.  I still clearly remember how she chose me… I went to look at a litter of GSD puppies, and while her siblings ran around and played, she came and sat quietly between my feet.  She did a good job picking, because I was lucky to have had such an amazing dog.

If I sound calm, I’m not… I’m utterly distraught yet highly medicated.

Posted by Leigh-Ann on 06/17 at 06:22 AM

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  1. I’m so sorry… Much sympathy to you and your family (furred, feathered, and otherwise).

    Posted by feral geographer  on  06/17  at  11:53 AM

  2. I’m really sorry to hear that. Thinking of you all x

    Posted by Char  on  06/17  at  12:51 PM

  3. Oh Leigh-Ann, I’m sending you and Flippy sympathy and hugs from north of the border. With Ferris sleeping at my feet at this very moment, I can only imagine the pain you’re feeling. I hope that you can take comfort in knowing that you were as good a friend to Eli as she was to you, and that you did the right thing for her in the end, as always.

    Posted by Calamity Jen  on  06/17  at  05:09 PM

  4. I am so sorry for the loss of Eli. My sincerest condolences and soft purrs to you.  I found this poem that I want to share with you:


    Her Journey’s Just Begun:
    Don’t think of her as gone away-
    her journey has just begun
    life holds many facets
    the Earth is only one

    Just think of her as resting
    from the sorrows and the tears
    in a place of warmth and comfort
    where there are no days and years

    Think how she must be wishing
    that we could know today
    how nothing but our sadness
    can really pass away

    And think of her as living
    In the hearts of those she touched
    For nothing loved is ever lost-
    And she was loved so much.

    - Ellen Brenneman

    Posted by Daisy the Curly Cat  on  06/17  at  05:36 PM

  5. So sorry to hear about Eli, you two. Sounds like she chose well - no dog ever had more devoted, caring owners.

    Posted by roro  on  06/17  at  07:50 PM

  6. I’m so sorry for your loss of Eli.  One year ago today my 13 1/2 yo Yorkie, C.C., passed away.  She didn’t make her 14th bday either.  Just like Eli chose you, C.C. chose me too by sitting elegantly in the corner of the pen like a Princess while her littermates scampered about.  You always know who your soulmates are, and Eli and you must have had that special connection.  We only have the joy of their presence for a while, and the pain of their loss is the unavoidable price for that tremendous joy.  My thoughts and understanding are with you today—and my special prayers are with Eli.

    Posted by Tina  on  06/17  at  08:07 PM

  7. Heartfelt hugs to you and Eli.

    Posted by beni  on  06/18  at  03:02 AM

  8. I’m so sorry to hear about Eli.  She sounds like a wonderful dog.  What a loss.

    Posted by Nancy  on  06/18  at  02:52 PM

  9. Oh, Leigh-Ann, I’m so sorry.

    Posted by Helena  on  06/18  at  06:10 PM

  10. I’m so sorry for your loss. :(

    Posted by georg  on  06/18  at  07:04 PM

  11. I cannot tell you how much I feel for you and yours.  It’s so hard…please accept my heartfelt sympathy and love to all of you.

    ‘mommikey’

    Posted by Mikey Wagy  on  06/19  at  02:51 PM

  12. I cannot recommend highly enough, having anti-anxiety meds in your home for emergencies such as this.  Seriously.  This was so unexpected and so sad, having to drive back to the vet’s office after they closed (they were so great!), to spend a little time with Eli, before they gave her the peaceful passing that she (and most of us) deserved.

    I’m glad that she didn’t have to suffer too much and that she was still our Eli when we went to say goodbye.  It’s never a pleasant experience losing a beloved member of the family, but our vet made it as comfortable as possible for all of us.  I only wish that Dante could understand what happened - he even refuses to sleep on the big dog bed (when Eli was here, he’d race to it to swipe it from her), as if he’s waiting for Eli to sleep on it.  It’s sad.  Although, as Eli started to slow down with her arthritis, Dante was getting a bit impatient with her not wanting to play, no matter how much he bit at her butt. :)  Like any sore old lady, Eli wanted a bit more rest than her younger male companion.

    I’m sad.  I’m sad for Leigh-Ann, for Dante, for Eli, for me, although I am grateful that it wasn’t long & drawn out, and that we really didn’t have any choices to make.  There was only one choice - to keep her from suffering, she had to be put to sleep.  She went so peacefully & gently that it was hard to believe that she wasn’t just in one of her deep restful snoozes.  After she lost her hearing, she really got into her naps.  No more being disturbed by annoying little noises like the doorbell or a new puppy in the neighborhood somewhere that yaps in the middle of the night.  Just good, good sleep.  I’ll miss our old dotty girl - a couple of years ago, she lost most of her separation anxiety, her desire to eat Phoenix’s head off, and her ability to pester the cats, and she was just a happy peaceful dog all the time, instead of 98% of the time.  I’ll miss her, in all of her stages of life, except for the attempting to eat Phoenix stage.  She was a great dog.  Pretty much the typical perfect German Shepherd.  I’m glad she got to enjoy her last big snowfall in January, snapping her jaws at the snowflakes.

    Thanks to all of you for your condolences.  They mean a lot to us.  I know that most of you know exactly what this feels like and how hard it is to suddenly lose one of your furry pals.  The house feels so empty, especially since we took Cody/Kevin to the airport on Monday night to start his new life in Washington state.  Now, it’s only the 20+ of us here. :)  It’s weird how missing two of them leaves such a void.  I’m glad though that CodyKev is in his glory now, with so much attention, a nice view, and the best parents a pet could ever have.  It’s rare that you get to feel so good about placing a foster - we felt the same way about Rory/Vegas going to live with Leigh-Ann’s brother and sister-in-law.  And Madison going back to the people who found her, but just needed her bottle fed before they could take her back.  So, we know for a fact that these three cats will have really happy lives.  Our other fosters that we’ve placed, we just have to hope they’re as well loved.

    Okay, I need to shut up and go to bed.  This FM crash isn’t going to heal without sleep.

    Posted by Flippy  on  06/19  at  05:09 PM

  13. I’m so sorry that I haven’t been around to read the blog until now so I just found out about Eli. My heart goes out to you. I have lost pets when I was a child but I have yet to lose one as an adult. I only let myself get a pet 4.5 years ago. Now I can’t imagine my life without them! But, sadly, some day they must leave me and I hope that I too am willing to take the suffering so they will not have to. You are in my prayers. I will hug my dogs a little closer tonight in memory of Eli.

    Mary, mom to the dachsies

    Posted by Roxie, Sammy & Andy  on  06/28  at  12:25 AM
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