Saturday, December 01, 2007 , terribly early in the morning

Home for Christmas

Thanks to the generosity of my sister and brother-in-law, I’m going home to Canada for Christmas this year.  I have to say that besides the logistical issues of leaving three hundred animals behind, my biggest concern is the cold.  I am afraid of being cold, as I now have thin, Las Vegas blood.  For the past 16 years, I’ve lived in places which don’t have snow in the winter.  My last trip back to Canada for Christmas was in 1994, and it was so bloody cold I had to wear long underwear and wrap blankets around me if I sat and watched TV.  I had to make an emergency trip to the store for earmuffs because I thought my ears were going to fall off.  It was -26 degrees during that Christmas (that equals -15 fahrenheit), and it haunts me.  I keep crossing my fingers that global warming will now mean that palm trees grow in Ottawa, and that I’ll be wearing shorts on Christmas morning.

The above paragraph is what I’ve been thinking about for the past couple of weeks.  I’d finally convinced myself that the weather during my trip won’t be very cold, and that I’ll be able to deal with it using a barn jacket and some tennis shoes.  Then, today’s Toronto Star printed this article, Brrrr-ace yourself for a cold, hard winter.  I offer to you the offending passage:

Environment Canada yesterday predicted the country could see its coldest winter in almost 15 years. “The last time Canada had a significantly cold winter was back in 1994, more than a decade ago, and this may very well rival that one in terms of coldness,” said senior climatologist David Phillips.

Pardonner à mon Français, mais, Ce qui le Tabernac?!* Is Mother Nature trying to kill me?  At the very least, does she want me to cry?  Because I’m not above crying at the drop of a hat when I’m stressed out, and I’m already stressed about traveling and airport security and packing holiday gifts and dragging my luggage through Toronto customs.  It would be fine if Santa wanted to send me on a $500 shopping spree at Lands End, for example, but I think I’ve got Santa all tapped out this year.  I wonder if I can fit an electric blanket under my clothes?  Those of you who still live in the cold white north (north or south of the 49th parallel), have any tips on warm-weather clothing for a girl who now goes through life wearing a t-shirt, shorts, and a pair of underwear i.e., as little as possible)?  I’m guess socks are a start, right? 

*I invented the little French phrase up there.  It doesn’t directly translate to anything specific, but it will be more gentle on the eyes of my family should they ever read this.  I really wanted to say, “What the fuck?”, but French is so much softer.

Posted by Leigh-Ann on 12/01 at 05:50 AM
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