Pact with the devil

That’s what we’re calling our trip to Walmart today to do our grocery shopping—our pact with the devil.  I really don’t like our Walmart at all, because it’s grubby and crowded and full of children and noisy and because they display Latter Day Saints reading material, however, so many of their products are oh-so-inexpensive.  We originally went there today to buy that dangerous and verboten street drug, Sudafed, because we can get a box of 20 12-hour pills for less than $4.  We thought we’d go and buy two or three boxes of Sudafed, leave, and never go back.  We were already irritated from our last visit, when we practically had to sign over all rights to our internal organs so we could buy one box of Sudafed, so I guess it shouldn’t have surprised us today when we were only permitted to buy one lousy box.  One box!  We’d chosen a box of 20 12-hour pills, plus a box of 48 every-six-hour pills (we’ve both been battling sinus problems for over a month), and we were told we could only have one box.  We could have had a second box, but I forgot my driver’s license at home, so it was “one per adult customer”.  I was really, really annoyed by this policy.  We asked the woman ringing us up how much Sudafed we’d need if we wanted to make crystal meth, and she laughed and said, A lot!  So, if we can’t make meth with just two or three boxes of Sudafed, why won’t they sell it to us?  Why, why, why?!  We all know that meth dealers now just bring their Sudafed in from Mexico (and they probably pay less for it, too), so it’s not right to pester ordinary citizens for things like ID when they want to buy a couple of boxes of legal, OTC medication.  Perhaps “the terrorists” have won after all, if only because they still do whatever they please, and the rest of us have our every move recorded and scrutinized, right down to our nasal habits.

Anyway, we were at Walmart, it was a rare not-too-crowded time of day, so we decided to stay and do our grocery shopping there.  We started in the produce section.  I wasn’t impressed with the quality of the fruits and vegetables, but I’m not sure which day they receive new deliveries and stock shelves, so the quality problem might have been just bad timing.  Once we moved out of produce, though, I was immediately struck by how inexpensive everything was.  I wanted to buy one of everything I saw, because they had a surprisingly good selection of “ethnic” food items, as well as a lot of hard to find meats (like pork neck bones, sweetbreads, beef heart, etc.).  There were no chicken necks or backs, but Carina (if you’re reading this), they had 10 lb. bags of chicken quarters (thighs and legs) for just $3.30!  I bought one bag and it contained 8 jumbo-sized quarters, which I then cut into smaller pieces for Eli and Dante.  I know the legs and thighs are fattier than other parts of the chicken, so I wouldn’t want to make them an entire diet, but it’s hard to beat 33 cents per pound.  The brand was “Gold Leaf”, and it didn’t seem to be a sale, but a regularly-priced item.

We continued on through the store, buying some cheddar-with-chipotle cheese, some snack-sized bags of potato chips (portion control), and a lot of interesting ethnic foods we hadn’t seen anywhere else.  The store was like a United Nations of customers and food items, and we find that hard to resist.  We found the world’s cutest tins of condensed milk (teeny, tiny tins, like they belonged in a Fisher-Price pretend kitchen), and prices on most things which reinforce the theory that Walmart is going to put all their competitors out of business by driving down prices, then we’ll all be screwed.  Flippy and I love to drink Crystal Light’s individual powdered drink mixes (you add them to a bottle of water), but at Albertsons or Vons they cost about $6 per box.  Smith’s offers their own knock-off Kroger version of the mixes, and we’re thrilled when those are on sale for $2.50.  At Walmart, however, original Crystal Light powdered drink mixes were priced at a barely-there $1.78 per box.  That was a rare example of something dietetic being inexpensive, because it generally seemed that price was inversely proportionate to calories.  Among the very inexpensive things we noticed were cheesecake slices for $1.00, and 400 calorie, 33 grams of fat, cheese and jalapeno hamburger patties for about 50 cents each.

We ended up spending about $120.  Not everything was a great value—toilet paper wasn’t on sale and was about the same price as we’d pay elsewhere, and it was the same for most of the non-food items.  Dishwasher detergent, paper towel, Kleenex, trash bags—they were no bargain.  Flippy noticed that Starbucks items, like bottled coffee, also were as expensive as they are everywhere else, so perhaps Starbucks won’t lower their prices for Walmart (or perhaps Walmart wants to recoup some money from the Starbucks’ addicts).

As always, Walmart leaves me feeling confused and a bit dirty.  I want to go there often to stock up on $2.50 frozen raspberries and 33 cent per pound chicken, but on the other hand, some food items don’t seem to be the best quality.  I’m also overwhelmed by all the junk food and desserts and snack food—it’s no place to be if you want to diet and lack willpower.  It’s also no place to be if you’re a meth addict, because they definitely won’t give you a break on your Sudafed purchases.

Posted by Leigh-Ann on 09/07 at 12:21 AM

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  1. Something I’ve forgotten to mention to you - someone found my Sudafed blog entry by looking for “crystal meth eyedrops”.  Holy crap, people are sick.

    Posted by Flippy  on  09/07  at  02:28 AM

  2. Flippy - that is wild! Crystal meth eyedrops??!
    They’re cracking down on sales of such meds here in MI too - I haven’t bought any, but many stores have notices posted and I think you need to get them over the counter, they’re not always on the shelves. Jeez.
    Man, I boycott WalMart but keep hearing about all the good deals, sigh. That’s a good price for chicken - though there’s a couple discount grocery stores around here that sell 10lb bags for .29/lb - generally things are a bit cheaper here in the midwest, I think. They’re not really fatty - and the skin can be pulled off pretty easily.
    Sweetbreads? I remember cooking those, years ago when I lived with a seriously carnivorous man. They actually were good, although now I think I’d be a bit creeped out by them. Yum. Stir-fried pituitary glands, or thymuses, or whatever the heck they are.
    An aside - I posted a really nice Steve Irwin tribute I read in the NYT…I can’t believe people being as unclassy as to badmouth him right after his death.

    Posted by Carina  on  09/07  at  03:41 AM

  3. I avoid Wal-Mart like the plague for their business practices (Helps that I hate shopping in their stores for the same reasons you described. They always make me feel like I’m spin-y and dizzy.) but I do understand why they are popular. They’re building a Super store a few miles from the regular store, in the town where I work. Just what we need. We are trusted to buy 2 boxes of Sudafed in WI and IL. Shhhh. Don’t tell the meth makers. I go through 2-3 boxes a year for my sinuses, too. I’m sure the limit is a NV law. Each state is different.

    Posted by Diana  on  09/07  at  05:14 AM

  4. I feel the same way about Wal-Mart.  It’s always messy and dirty with rude people all over the place making you feel defensive and wary. I never get through a visit without getting bumped into a couple of times.

    The deals are good but you feel almost suspicious wondering why it’s so cheap.  At the same time, you can’t really deny the savings.

    Posted by prajantr  on  09/07  at  04:57 PM

  5. I really don’t like Walmart either and yet…I desperately needed new tires for a sudden Sunday trip on the freeway. Guess what business was open all day Saturday that sells tires…only one in town.

    And yet…they charge exactly half of what the nearest drug store charges for a prescription needed by a family member.

    Love-hate or am I a hypocrite?

    Posted by jan  on  09/08  at  05:45 PM

  6. I think as long as we all promise to not shop there regularly, our collective conscience should be clear.  Okay, everyone, pinky-swear.

    Posted by Flippy  on  09/08  at  10:07 PM

  7. Great post, Leigh-Ann!  It’s so so so sad that it’s so much more expensive to eat healthy, low-calorie food.  And that it’s hard to afford not to shop at Wal-mart.  I have the same dilemma.

    Here’s a story of why I, personally, hate Wal-mart.  When I was in college, my mom worked part-time jobs to help keep me there.  One job was at Wal-mart, a new store that was opening up.  She hated pretty much every minute of working there because of all the little insults and humiliations.  Like the morning meetings, where employees were forced to participate in the Wal-mart cheer, including wiggling their butts for the squiggle.  If you knew my mother, never the extrovert, you would know the horror of this for her.  And all the 20-year-old managers had nametags like “Mr. Adams” and “Ms. Bailey.”  Her nametag said, “Reba.”  This really violated the cultural norms of that place and time.  Not as bad for them to call her Reba as for her, a 50-year-old woman, to address a 20-year-old as “Mr.”  And then there was the whole salary issue.  When her group was hired, they were told that everyone in the store was hired at the same hourly rate for the setup.  But a couple weeks later (still during setup) they hired a new bunch of people for a dollar or two more.  And when word got around, management’s strategy was to tell employees that anyone caught revealing their salary to another employee would be immediately fired.  She stayed through setup and quit.

    Posted by Nancy  on  09/09  at  05:38 AM

  8. The chipotle and cheddar cheese is dreamy…

    Posted by Leigh-Ann  on  09/10  at  01:33 AM

  9. I’m sure Target has lots of skeletons in their corporate closet, too, but I find it interesting that when we shop at Target, it feels clean and modern and progressive.  When we shop at Walmart, it feels dirty and cheap (and I don’t mean “inexpensive”).  I guess it’s just a perception issue, but I feel a lot better about our Target trips, even if they cost us more.

    Posted by Leigh-Ann  on  09/10  at  01:36 AM
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