The Blog Pound

Thursday, March 12, 2009 , evening

We put our pets first: we are NOT in the minority!

I can’t believe I have to edit this to state the obvious, but, this post is not an attack on the “extended family member” who informed us of the opinions of the rest of the family. I didn’t shoot the messenger, and I didn’t identify the messenger, although she subsequently identified herself. I didn’t even mention the messenger beyond the first paragraph—this blog entry is not about the messenger! The point of this entry was to rally the troops, so to speak—those of us who see our pets as family members need to be vocal in our support of one another. The idea that pets are “disposable” in a time of financial crisis is literally an issue of life and death for that pet. People who think that you can just take your pets to an animal shelter as a simple means of rehoming them need to be made aware of the fact that the majority of animals who enter shelters do not come out again. I actually think that if I was forced to give up my pets and couldn’t place them with new families myself, I might choose to have them euthanized for my peace of mind and their safety. If the odds say that they’ll most likely end up being put to death after a few confusing, noisy, and miserable days at a shelter, maybe I should spare them that misery. I hope I never need to actually come to a decision about what I’d do in that situation. Nevertheless, the following rant was in self-defence. I still haven’t recovered from finding out that certain people think I’ve been telling them lies about Wee Paws for all these years. It would have saved me a lot of time if I’d just lied and not actually committed so much time to the process of making Wee Paws self-supporting, even if that means we have to stay small.

An extended member of Flippy’s family recently informed us in an email that “most” people think our financial problems are caused by our pets, that “most” people think we’re lying when we say our vet is giving us free services, and that “most” people essentially think getting rid of our pets is the responsible thing to do because we supposedly are unable to care for them. We were also told that “most” people don’t understand our love for animals. Added to this (like a booger garnish on a crap sandwich), it was admitted that a member of Flippy’s family doesn’t think fibromyalgia really exists (edited: I was incorrect, the statement wasn’t that FMS doesn’t exist, but that Flippy doesn’t have it and is just lazy. It actually doesn’t matter if he believes FMS exists, because we’ve all been victims of someone—a family member, even a doctor—telling us our symptoms are just psychological. When one sufferer of chronic illness is called a liar it truly does tarnish all of us). I’m sure you can tell from my tone how much I enjoyed reading that email. I had suspected there was some family resentment towards the pets, but I had no idea they were being blamed for our financial problems. I had no idea I’ve been considered an incessant liar for the past three or four years. I really had no idea that there was so much armchair doctoring going on, either.

I should not have to restate the obvious here, but I’ve been receiving free pet care products for the pets for at least three or four years. I have no recollection of the last time I paid for cat litter. I get free food donations from a couple of companies, and when we go to SuperZoo, we bring home so much food that it overflows our freezer and garage. It literally ends up being a few thousand dollars worth of food and products. I also get donations, as almost all of you know because you’ve donated to us. Every single donation helps us continue our tradition of caring for cats who need help. I’ve turned down cats in need when we haven’t been able to afford it, and it kills me to do it, but I know we have our limits. I never do more than what donations afford us. As for free vet care, it’s just a fact. For the last couple of years, our vet has let us run a tab, and she was very clear to us that she wanted to see our pets get the care they needed before we worried about how to pay her. This is not unusual… many vets with good relationships with clients allow this sort of leeway (which is why I always hammer on the fact that you need to truly cultivate a good relationship with your vet of choice, preferably, a vet with a private practice and not some Banfield-like revolving door). We’ve also done a lot for the vet, from taking care of orphaned kittens brought in to listing abandoned animals on Petfinder, so our relationship is a two-way street. The fact that the vet suggested I do some Internet marketing to start to pay off our tab was a great relief for me, because she hadn’t put any limits on us, and I didn’t want to seem like I was taking advantage. I know I blogged about how our vet had a prospective new hire run a “mini vaccine clinic” just for us, under the guise of having us interview her, and if you think I made that up, you’re giving my imagination too much credit. On a related note, I see our vet frequently and socialize with clinic staff, so if our pets were receiving substandard care, they’d be in the position to know.

I know I blog about being poor, and being sick, because that is my reality. Go back three or four years in my blog and I rarely spoke of those things, but it’s hard to find something “fun” to write about when your life is pretty much consumed by medical problems and trying to find work to pay the bills. My blog is a place for others in my situation to find support, and to find out they aren’t alone—I’m not here for your entertainment, I’m here for my own. I hope I’ll occasionally write something which interests you or which you find helpful, but if I don’t, I know you’re smart enough to just go read something else. I don’t charge admission, and I don’t know where this extended family member came up with the idea that my blog should be a fun and light-hearted place for people to visit. When I start to charge you, you can tell me what to write about.

I’m obviously angry, and hurt, and frustrated. When I started to take in strays (and started Wee Paws), I had two well-paying jobs and my health issues were mostly under control. As the economy worsened and I lost work, my stress increased, and I became unable to do things like buy medication I needed. That made my health worse. I’ve never not paid a bill or skipped medication because I needed to pay for something for the pets—it’s not all that difficult to find corporate support for a small number of animals. Try to find free human health care, well, that’s a joke—my doctor isn’t even permitted, BY LAW, to prescribe more than one month’s worth of my most important medication, so I’m forced to make $100 visits every 4 weeks. One time he gave me a free Toradol shot, retail value, $20. I’ve spent over $4000 at his office doing nothing but sitting there while he writes out the same old prescriptions over and over again, so if I want to look for a place where money is wasted, that would be it. Financial issues aside, I don’t think I should have to sweep my health problems under the rug under fear of some social stigma (you are only as sick as your secrets, and from what I’ve seen of people, it’s true). I suffer from depression. I suffer from PTSD. I have fibromyalgia. I have Hashimoto’s disease. I may have multiple sclerosis. Do you think less of me for admitting those things, or do you maybe think it’s kind of nice that someone with those obstacles has still managed to still make a small impact on a cause she finds worthy (i.e., animal rescue)? I occasionally am so egotistical that I inspire myself, so maybe it’s not so far-fetched that other people with financial, medical, or emotional problems would like to share in my small successes, and even my small failures. If I hide my true self, it implies I’m ashamed, and I’m not. If you judge me, you are the one with the problem, because I’m pretty sure you live in a glass house. The attitude that we should hide our perceived flaws because other will judge us is a great way to push gay people back into the closet, by the way… at what point do you decide what is okay to share, and what is off-limits?

Thank you for letting me vent, and thank you all for your support over the last few years. I’ve met the most amazing, incredible, empathetic people online, and I’ve never received one word of criticism on my blog from a “hater”. If you’re a person who thinks pets should come secondary that’s certainly your prerogative, but your life is less rich for your attitude, and my life will be more rich without you in it.

——————————————

Someone read my mind: here’s an article from the Toronto Star about how most pet owners instinctively protect their pets the way they’d protect a child, because the pets are family: Loyal Pet Parents Go Out On Any Limb

Posted by Leigh-Ann on 03/12 at 08:35 AM
The Litterbox • Permalink